There are so many times lately when I am my own worst enemy. I expect too much from myself and am quick to reprimand when I make mistakes in caring for my husband. I am short with myself when I can’t do tasks around the house that I have never had to do before. I get irritated when he needs help and I don’t know what to do, or simply can’t provide it. It frustrates me that I need to ask for help when things should be so easy.

The longer we are on this journey, the more I discover how little I know about providing care for another person. There seem to be new and different challenges everyday from helping him with basic personal grooming skills to communicating with his doctors and dealing with insurance companies. As his symptoms progress, his needs will grow and I must find a healthy and productive way to deal with what is coming.

Instead of berating myself for not having the skills needed to provide good care, I am finding resources in our community that can help. I am also figuring out which tasks I should tackle and which might be best handled by someone else. I am learning to let go of some of the household jobs so that I have more time to focus on my husband. And, I am finding out that it is okay if I am not perfect doing everything, instead just striking a healthy balance of home-care, partner-care and most importantly self-care. 

I find help from Parkinson’s Resources of Oregon , through their classes and support for CarePartners. The Area Agency on Aging and Disabilities has classes that can help with basic skill building. I have utilized on-line resources through the Parkinson’s Foundation, Michael J. Fox Foundation, and the Davis Phinney Foundation that are specific to providing care for someone with PD. For more generalized caregiving, AARP provides lots of great information.