Knowing when to step in and help your partner can be difficult, especially as the symptoms of PD progress. What is easy for my husband one day, or even one moment, may be impossible the next. I try to always be available and to remember to ask if I “can” help, not if he “needs” help.  If there is a reason I think I should step in, I will share that, but he still makes the final decision.

When things are rushed, I offer to help him get ready rather than wait for him to ask so we will be on time. Other times, I will see him struggling with a task and ask if I can help before it becomes too frustrating for him. There are some things that we both know he needs assistance with and I step in automatically. I am especially careful when we are in public to make sure that I do not take away his autonomy or his dignity. He is still a very capable man and I don’t want to step on that while trying to provide support.

Helping isn’t a one-way street at our house, I am vertically challenged and still need to ask him for help reaching items on top shelves. He also helps with other chores around the house that are PD compatible such as vacuuming and emptying the dishwasher. Our relationship may not be quite 50-50 anymore, meaning that my opportunities to help are more frequent than his, yet we are still a team and I need to respect those things he can do and encourage him to do them.