A friend in the PD community told us recently, “my wife doesn’t think I can do anything anymore”. He admitted that he often tries to do things he probably shouldn’t just to prove that he still can. It was eye-opening to me. Does my husband feel that way too? 

It is a slippery slope once we start doing things for our partners because there is always the danger that they going to agree that it is easier to let us do them and give up. I try to be mindful of this and always encourage self-reliance first. If I ask whether he wants the help, letting him make the decision, it goes down much better and he often surprises me. Tasks that I would think could be difficult don’t seem to bother him while other tasks that seem easier create a challenge.

We both agree that there are those things that he just shouldn’t be doing anymore because of the severity of his tremor. When those things come up, we talk about them and then decide how best to approach them. We can usually find a way to share the chores so that we can both participate in safe and constructive ways as we both work to live positively with his PD diagnosis.