When I wrote this, I was thinking specifically of my partner with PD but now I realize that I do it for so many people. I am always trying to “help” others, maybe because it allows me to avoid my own stuff? I need to step back and remember that people don’t always need help, sometimes they just need someone to listen and let them find their own way through.

It is important that I learn to recognize when I am overstepping and take a breath. Then, I can look at what is really going on and determine whether I am trying too hard to influence the other person while ignoring something important in my own life. It usually means that I need to engage my listening skills, not my helping skills.

This is a time when I need to look inward to see what is going on with me. Why am I trying so hard to “fix” things for this other person? Is there something happening that needs my attention but that I have pushed away? Do I need their help as much as I am thinking they need mine? If I can honestly look at the help I offer as a component of friendship and understand how to be a support for them, I can in turn ask for their input when I am faced with difficult choices. When I am open to building a mutual relationship, we can all benefit from shared experiences and wisdom in our daily lives.