There are times when my husband asks for help with basic tasks because he is tired or having a bad day and I step in gladly. There are also times when he wants my help to “speed things along”. At those times, I often encourage him to do it himself because we need to remember that even though some things may be more difficult and take longer, he can still do them. Those tasks of daily living involve muscle-brain interactions that are vital components to his continued mobility, I don’t want to take that away from him.

Sometimes the “no” has to do with something he asks that seems unreasonable and so I have to ask myself if it is something I would agree to if he didn’t have PD? Other times, his requests obviously have to do with his illness and I have to take a moment to determine if it is in his best interest or not? Help can be empowering or it can be enabling, I need to make sure that any help I offer builds him up and encourages his independence, not his helplessness.

Our partnership is based on love, trust and the understanding that we are both here for the duration. All my decisions about helping need to be founded in what works best for both of us and what will help us stay strong as we continue on this journey with aging and PD.