I don’t want to be my husband’s conscience but there are times when I must be. I don’t like the role of policing his activities yet there are times when someone has to make sure he doesn’t overdo. I especially don’t want to be his mother, constantly telling him what he should and shouldn’t be doing, yet I do want to keep him safe. I know he is a grown man and should be able to make his own choices but what happens when, thanks to his diagnosis of Parkinson’s Disease, I don’t think they are in his best interest?

One great example has to do with driving. My husband developed a pretty intense tremor early in his diagnosis. It was especially bad when he got stressed and driving can be stressful at times. He found that thanks to PD, his response time was slowing down. We talked honestly about the safety issues surrounding these challenges. As a result, he began letting me drive whenever we were going out together, but was still driving himself to a local gym within our neighborhood. It was a safe compromise for a difficult choice.

There are so many things like climbing ladders, using power tools, electrical and plumbing repairs that can be especially hazardous for someone with Parkinson’s. We have conversations about what is and isn’t safe, and we always look at the symptoms of the illness, the tremors or balance challenges, rather than blame him for not being able to do these things. We usually reach agreement but there are times when I have to make a tough choice and say “no- it’s just not safe for you to do that anymore”. He may not always be happy about my decision, but he accepts it and understands that it is made with love and the best of intentions.