It may seem unfair, why should I have to change my style of communicating when he is the one with the disease? It’s really quite simple, I adapt because I can. PD, or the medications for it, define my husband’s abilities in many ways. In addition to slowing his speech patterns, it also takes away my husband’s ability to move many of the smaller muscles in his face. Whereas I used to be able to read his feelings, they are now hidden behind a mask. Since so much of his message was shared through facial expression, I need to be careful that I don’t apply the wrong intention to his comments when he speaks. 

As the disease progresses, everything my husband does demands unique and individual focus. Few words are exchanged during a meal or he stops eating, walking and talking is challenging, just sitting can take his full attention. Our lives can be very quiet at times.

I am learning to be a respectful communicator. If I want to have a conversation, I need to first make sure that I connect either by calling out to him or by touch. Then, I need to be in his sight range to truly know the message is being shared. I slow down and take the time to hear what he is saying and sometimes check for clarity. PD slows his processes down but it doesn’t dull them. He is still present and has valuable contributions to make. Receiving his messages may take a little more effort on my part, but it is well worth it in order to keep the lines of communication flowing.