This was written in pre-pandemic times but can still hold true as we are forced to rethink things. How much can we actually do without while still connecting with loved ones and what traditions will we be changing in the future?

Holidays and family celebrations should be fun for everyone. If you and your partner are not enjoying yourselves, figure out why and then work to fix it.

“Just because we always have” or “because it’s a family tradition” are horrible excuses for continuing activities when everyone comes simply because they feel obligated to participate. If you are still doing things that you did 10 or even just 5 years ago, why are you doing them? Do they bring you joy or are they just a lot of work for nothing? These are questions that I had to face over the past couple of years and the answers have been surprising.

I started by thinking carefully about the things I was inflicting upon myself and my husband in the name of celebrating holidays and family milestones. While it is nice to get everyone together, could we do it in a simpler or less stressful way so as to not exhaust ourselves? Does it need to be a family dinner at our house or can we just get together in a nice restaurant for lunch? If I really feel that the family dinner is essential to stay connected, can someone else be the host? Most importantly, do my husband and I have the energy to do this? Maybe the time has come to pass on some of the duties and to let go of some of the others that no longer have meaning.

Traditions are wonderful and well worth preserving when they bring value to family relationships. I have realized that they can also make for wonderful memories when participating in them is no longer a reasonable expectation for us. In this world of Parkinson’s, we are working to live more meaningfully each and every day. Let us also work to find new ways to celebrate so we can all enjoy those special times in our lives.