Being a CarePartner often means that I am keeping a vigilant watch to make sure things are going okay. I ask my husband how he feels, watch him walk and even check his facial expressions when he doesn’t know I’m looking so I can see what’s happening there. It can feel like I am the PD police, constantly on the lookout for offending actions so I can correct him.

I learned a long time ago that praise works better than criticism. If I want my husband to respond positively to me, I need to recognize and acknowledge the good things that happen as opposed to pointing out where I feel he struggles. What if I catch him by surprise and comment on how tall he is rather than give him grief for slumping? Instead of complaining that I can’t hear him because he mumbles, perhaps I need to make sure he knows that I value what he says by stopping what I am doing and giving him my full attention.

It is easy to see the problems that Parkinson’s has brought into our lives, yet there are also many things that are good. I can choose to focus on his challenges or I can be the CarePartner who celebrates successes during our day. I know which type of support I would want if I were the one with the diagnosis, I think I’ll try harder to be that Partner for my husband.