I built a headboard yesterday. Granted it came in a box and had detailed instructions, but still I built it by myself. My husband offered to help, gathered tools for me, was there for the heavy lifting, but then realized it was not a two-person job and got out of the way. He understood and accepted that, in this case, his PD would be a hindrance to the task at hand even to the point of making it unsafe and let it go.

Pre-Parkinson’s we often worked together on projects and that simply cannot happen anymore. Balance issues make it difficult for him to work in tight spaces, tremors and stiffness plague his fine motor controls and my focus needs to be on the job not on worrying if he is safe next to me. We try to look at the tasks ahead of time to determine if there is something he could be doing or if it is something I should do alone and especially where I might need help. He is always close by in case I need him.

I did worry that he might feel left out while I was working, but it felt really good once I could see the finished product. I need to remember that our skill sets have always been different, even more so now that he has PD. I need to accept that it is okay for me to do some things by myself, especially when safety is involved.