The first step for me was recognizing that changes were happening and that they could impact us both. I had to find ways to communicate respectfully with my husband about my areas of concern that would impact his independence such as driving. We had to look differently at his daily activities and chores he was doing around the house to decide which were safe and where we should find someone else (often me) to take over. We had to accept new realities in our relationship with each other and with the world around us.

Change is inevitable, but we have learned that we can slow it all down. He takes his medications and has had DBS surgery, both necessary and positive actions, yet the most effective thing we have done to counteract the change was exercise. We began working out together and, on days when I am tired or lazy, he inspires me to keep on going. I can’t believe his dedication and determination as he works daily to stretch, cajole and encourage stiff muscles and increase his range of motion.

I have seen many changes in our 10-year journey since Parkinson’s became the third wheel in our marriage. Some changes were due to natural aging, some due to his diagnosis of PD, issues he has had with his shoulder may be a little of both. At any rate, I will continue to honor and accept where he is each day so I can best support him as life moves on for us both.