I don’t know exactly where this saying comes from, Google said it refers to poor housekeeping techniques from the early 1900’s, but definitely came home to rest with me recently. I am hyper-vigilant about my husband’s PD symptoms, but when I developed a suspicious bump I went into total denial and thoroughly swept it under the rug. It took me a month to mention it to my husband and then another month before I called my doctor and set up an appointment. It turned out to be a cyst and she recommended keeping an eye on it but otherwise it should be fine.

One of my biggest challenges is taking my self-care seriously. I know all of the stuff about how important it is that I stay healthy to be here for my husband, but I still try to sweep it away and move on. I had a rash last year and, by the time I realized I should see a doctor, it had started to clear up and the dermatologist was unable to determine what caused it. My worry about what happens to my husband if I get sick should spur me to seek treatment but instead sends me running in the opposite direction. I seem to think that if I ignore my own issues long enough, they will go away and I won’t have to deal with them. 

It is time for me to accept that I am aging along with my husband and that things are going to happen within my body. I need to remember that while I need to be healthy to care for him, I also need to be healthy just for myself. It is so easy to pretend all is well, it is more difficult to be open and make sure all is well. Instead of sweeping things under the rug, I will actively work for wellness in my life and will do what it takes to maintain it.