I once learned a process for behavior modification with children that involves looking not only at an unwanted action but also looking at when and where it happened. Taking a deep dive into what happened often gives clues as to why it is happening and can also give a pathway to resolution. By considering when and where something happened, you can often gain insight into the why. I’m finding out that it can work with adults too.

My husband insisted on being in the kitchen with me when I cook dinner. His premise was that he would feed the dog and set the table which put him in my way as I was trying to prepare our food. It was driving me crazy. We talked about it and finally had to set a time frame so the kitchen is mine until 6 o’clock. By applying the who, what, when, where analysis, I come to the understanding that he misses being able to cook. We used to share the duties and it must be difficult for him to let it go.

There will be things that your Person with Parkinson’s will do that make you crazy and that you are sure they are doing just to be irritating. Don’t go there. Instead take a breath and look beyond the behavior at the motivation. Look at the what, where and when to find the reason and you will often avoid the upset and be able to move to a resolution that works for both of you.