When I see my husband struggling with a task, I am often tempted to take over and do it for him. I know that I can get it done sooner and with less frustration for both of us. But, is that really what is best? If I step in whenever he struggles, won’t he begin to look to me to do more and more as he does less and less for himself? How can I know when I should step in and help and when I should stand by and let him finish, even if it takes a while?

The only hard and fast rule is that I always step in if he is putting himself or someone else in danger. He doesn’t drive, climb ladders or operate power tools anymore period. Then, I always ask if he wants my help before I step in. If he is working on something and feels he can do it by himself, I don’t want to interfere. I never want to give him the impression that I think he is incapable of doing things, but rather encourage him to work to his capacity. And, I am often surprised at what he can still do without my intervention.

While we are both on this journey with Parkinson’s Disease, we are also both on very different trajectories. My goal is to be here for him when he needs me, his goal is to continue living his life as fully as circumstances will allow. I need to remember this and stay out of his way to make sure I am encouraging his activities, not limiting them. He has a life to live, I need to let him.