It is so easy for me to get caught up in our world of PD and to forget that I deserve to have a life outside of those parameters. My days are sprinkled with reminders of his diagnosis such as his pill reminders going off regularly or the exercise classes we both attend. Yet, my days also need to be about finding ways to fulfill my own needs so that I can be whole and healthy. I do take time to write in a journal and to create my blogs, but is that enough? Are those things not always about PD and the impacts it is having on our lives? Wouldn’t it be nice to have something more?

How do I balance my needs against his? How do I find things to do that won’t take away from our time together but will enhance it? How do I better understand that things I do outside the PD CarePartner role can help me be better at the things I do within that role? How do I explain all of this to him so that he doesn’t feel left out and encourage him to also find some additional outlets?

My current check-in with myself is not going so well. I find that I have been struggling to adapt to his new reality post DBS surgery. His needs have changed and I have more time on my hands. I need to figure out what I want to do with that time perhaps by doing things that enrich my life. I need to evaluate where I am and where I want to go on this next portion of our journey and then take a step forward knowing that he will be here and support me in any new endeavors.