I find it easy to take over and do things that my husband can and should be doing for himself whether he asks for help or not. I know that I intervene in an attempt to make life easier, but is it really? How does it make him feel when I finish tasks for him or interfere in what he is doing without being asked?

One example happened just today. It was time for his on-line exercise class and the instructor hadn’t logged in yet. I immediately grabbed my phone to call someone to get it started, my husband waited patiently to see what was wrong. I anxiously asked him how long he planned to wait, he simply said “until the class starts”. Sure enough, it started in just a few minutes and he was able to proceed calmly while I was feeling stressed out. It was his thing, I tried to take control to fix it (without being asked) and all I accomplished was to upset myself.

If I can remember to ask if he wants my assistance before I jump in, then I can provide the correct help he needs in a respectful and thoughtful way. Too often though I catch myself taking over, especially when we are in a hurry. I know that it is degrading to both of us and damaging to our relationship, yet it still happens.  My husband is a brilliant and capable man with a great deal of patience. I will learn to ask before I leap so that I don’t have to learn just where that patience ends.