We recently had some friends over for a backyard happy hour. I spent a lot of time cleaning up our yard with my husband helping as much as he could. The day before the event, I woke to find 2 large mole hills in the front yard and 3 in the back. It was disheartening and a battle I just didn’t have the time or energy to fight. So, instead I went out and stomped the heck out of all the holes and let it go.

On the other hand, our heat pump recently died. It was 19 years old so we shouldn’t have been surprised when it couldn’t keep up with summer extremes. Neither of us are able to deal with the heat like we did when we were younger. I made calls and we are scheduled for a new unit next month with a local company who loaned us a temporary unit to get by for now.

Recognizing home challenges that need to be tackled is fairly easy, it is more difficult recognizing which challenges I need to take on with my husband and which I need to let go. Do I speak up about his swallowing issues when I hear him choking or remind him to stand “tall as a tree” when I see him slouching? I struggle constantly to find the line between supportive CarePartner and nagging wife. I am learning to look beyond the momentary challenges to the bigger battles he is fighting. There are times when it takes too much energy for him to stand tall or think about how he swallows. Those are the times when I just need to love him and let everything else go.