I spend way too much time rehashing things that happened yesterday wondering how I might have done them differently to have a better outcome. Or, I am thinking ahead, looking to a future that we can’t know yet and trying to prepare for those indefinite challenges we may or may not face. It is distracting, perhaps that is the point, and keeps me from tackling the realities of where we are today. 

My husband has challenges that I am ignoring. He struggles to get in and out of bed. He has balance difficulties and has fallen three times in the past year. His speech has become somewhat muffled and there are times when I cannot understand what he is trying to say. That these problems come as a side effect of the Deep Brain Stimulation that reduces his tremor and stiffness doesn’t make them any less important. I need to work with him to minimize these issues now, not worry about what I did wrong yesterday or where we might be in 10 years.

My energy and my time are limited. I can choose to live positively or I can waste my life in worry and self-doubt. My husband deserves better than that; I deserve better than that. Just as living well with Parkinson’s Disease can be my husband’s reality, I will make living well with someone who has PD my reality too.