Crisis responses are quick and emotional as our bodies are designed to react to a perceived threat to ourselves or someone we love. I know that it is difficult for me to learn to slow down my process and be mindful in those moments of panic. I also know that my outbursts are not helpful and hurt me and my husband.

I did it just this morning. My husband was struggling to get out of bed, stumbled and nearly fell. I yelled at him asking why he didn’t use the tools I devised for him. I regretted the outburst immediately but it was there between us all through breakfast. I finally went to him and apologized and explained that when I see him falling, it scares me. I don’t think, I just react and those reactions are not always what they should be. I really need to work on that.

When I react with anger, my husband shuts down and we are not able to troubleshoot what actually happened while the situation is fresh in our minds. If instead, I am able to remain calm and work with him to figure out where things went sideways, we might be able to find a solution to the challenge. At the very least, we won’t be mad at each other.