Lots of things have changed thanks to my husband’s diagnosis. What I need to remember is that I am not responsible for those changes nor fixing the challenges they bring. I can only work with him to try to minimize his symptoms to the extent that he is willing to let me. When I try to change things to make his life easier based on my own observations, it usually doesn’t work and often causes additional stress between us.

I get upset when he helps me without being asked because we approach tasks differently and I doubt he is going to do it the way I want. Knowing this, why am I surprised when he isn’t thrilled with my “new solution” to his stability issues or my “fix” for helping him get out of bed in the morning? Doesn’t he understand that I am just trying to help?

If I am truly attempting to support him, I need to use my ears more and my eyes less. I need to listen fully to what he perceives the challenge to be and work with him to come up with a modification together. He needs to be fully engaged in finding answers that might be useful and that he will try. Otherwise, I am just adding to his problems and wasting my time, not something either of us need.