We had a small group of family over recently for a chili feed and pumpkin painting party. It was a great get-together and everything seemed to be going well. That is, until we got to the chili feed. I opted to hand out bowls of chili and let everyone find a place to sit including my husband. I wasn’t thinking about his Parkinson’s Disease that still causes a slight tremor and makes him unsteady on his feet. There was a spill, which he did his best to clean up, and he went on with his meal. Others saw what happened, I didn’t know until later. My husband left the room shortly after eating and I found him sitting alone in another part of the house.

If I had only taken a moment to think things through and carried the bowl to him, the spill could have been avoided entirely. I was distracted by the other people and activities and forgot my primary responsibility is to care for my husband. I am troubled that I didn’t see him cleaning it up and realize that it could have been much worse had the chili been hotter. Not only did my inattention create an uncomfortable situation for my husband, it was also potentially dangerous.

Maintaining family relationships is important and hosting events can be fun for both of us. I know that my actions were neglectful, yet I also know that I am human and need to forgive myself for mistakes as long as I learn from them. We will continue to have people over, but I must always remember that the most important person at any gathering is the man with whom I share my life. I won’t let the busyness of any event interfere with my role as loving CarePartner.