It is easy to let your needs go when taking care of someone else. You are either too busy or too tired to think about what you need, let alone to do it. However, by not meeting your personal needs, you are not going to be able to be there completely for your Person with Parkinson’s. There is a good chance that you will find yourself blaming them for whatever it is you are missing out on rather than looking at ways to make sure you can both find satisfaction.

There are many activities that I do for and with my husband and a couple that I do just for myself. We have developed a pretty good routine that allows space for both of us. I have my mornings to write while he is showering and dressing but I am close should he need me. We exercise together most days and that has been really good for both of us. I get away a few hours every week to volunteer at a local museum, something that meets my needs but also brings a different dimension to our relationship when I bring stories home to share.

I don’t think that we ever actually sat down and prioritized our daily activities, our schedule has evolved as my husband’s symptoms allowed. There are days when I need to be closer to him, days when he needs to be left alone. I tell him when I need time to be by myself, maybe to go outside to work or take a walk. We plan outside activities together, things like lunch with friends or coffee dates. We discuss changes to make sure that all is well and we are prepared for potential issues. Most importantly, we recognize and respect that each of us have needs and want to make sure that we are both satisfied at the end of each day.