Creative thought is essential when facing a new challenge and may even help you find a better way to overcome an old one. If I step outside of a situation and try to observe it with an objective viewpoint, I can often see that I am making things more, not less, complicated than they need to be. I also often find that I am taking care of my husband’s needs with no consideration for myself in the moment.

I am planning for the holidays, wondering what they could look like if I put my needs first. For one thing, I would not spend the day cooking and would instead be able to sit and enjoy family time together. We might go out for a walk in the neighborhood so they could experience a bit of our lives and the things we enjoy doing. It wouldn’t matter if the house was a bit messy so I wouldn’t spend a week prior cleaning carpets and washing windows. I could bake some family favorites to share but it would be on my schedule and my favorites would definitely be included.

Expanding that even further, how would all of our days look if I put my own needs first? It would be nice if I weren’t so tied up with chores around our home, perhaps next year we finally hire that yard service. That may not seem like a creative approach but it is definitely outside of the box for me as I’ve been mowing lawns since I was 10 years old. I’m not sure what else would change because, after several years of trial and error, we have developed a routine that works for both of us. I use my husbands “on times” during the day to do things for myself. I get out of the house a couple of afternoons each week while he is resting to volunteer at a local museum. If I need an additional break, we talk about it and find a way to make it happen. Most importantly, I have accepted the reality that meeting his needs meets my needs on a primal level and that is core to my owning the role of CarePartner.