I am writing this on Boxing Day, a day traditionally set aside during the holiday rush to allow those who serve others a break. I asked my husband if that meant he would be taking care of me today so I could have a rest. He smiled and responded with “Hope you don’t starve.” So, I went to the freezer and pulled out a container of beef stew from last month. Not sure what he’ll be eating today…

I know he was joking but the reality for many of us is that, no matter how much they really would like to take over, our People with Parkinson’s are just not able to be our caregivers. My husband does what he can and is willing to try for more, but it wears him out. So, when I truly need a break, I have to let him know so we can work out alternatives. Usually, if I need a break from him, he needs one just as bad from me. I always keep leftovers in the freezer for those times when I just can’t cook another meal. I have learned to let the housework go, no one is going to care if the dust bunnies pile up a bit. And I know how to prioritize what needs to happen everyday so we can make it through.

If I don’t make taking breaks a priority so I can find ways to step away and catch my breath, I am going to burn out. It starts by recognizing the levels of stress I am facing and ends with communicating with my husband, in a positive way, that I need a day off. It may even be that we take it together, go out for a drive and a meal, or it may be that I prepare his meals and then leave for a few hours on my own. Whatever it looks like, I need to be able to say “I have had enough and need a break”, and then take it, before I end up needing a full-time caregiver too.