There are things he doesn’t or can’t do anymore thanks to Parkinson’s Disease as well as things we aren’t able to do together, and I have learned to grieve those losses and let them go. I like to focus on what we can do together and find joy there, rather than worry about what we might be missing out on. I am thankful every day for the slow progression of his illness and the fact that he is still present in my life.

My husband has always been extremely independent, and I know how difficult it is for him to ask for help. I also recognize the importance of my not stepping in until he asks. It is tough to stand by and watch him struggle, yet it is great to see the satisfaction on his face when works through his challenges. Knowing when he usually needs help allows me time to make sure that any assistance I provide just happens naturally. We like to joke or tease, perhaps connect with a kiss or a cuddle, to make the contact about more than the task itself. We refer to it as a toll for the assist. He often tolls me too when I ask him to help out with minor chores.

I have to admit that there are times when I feel guilty because he doesn’t ask me for help very often. I see my fellow CarePartners dealing with more challenging issues and wonder if that will be us one day. Just as I shouldn’t worry about our past losses, it doesn’t help to worry about what the future has to bring. Instead, I need to stay grounded in today and the support my husband needs in his current state. And always appreciate the positive sides of our journey as much as possible, those little things like listening to him prepare for his day.