My husband has a birthday coming up soon. It is a milestone, 80 years on this earth, and well worth celebrating. This has been on my mind for a while now, how do I create a celebration that honors him and that will be comfortable for him? I like to entertain; how do I keep from turning this into something I want instead of what meets his current needs and that he would enjoy?

The first step was simply to open the conversation. If this is truly a party for him then he needs to be on board with the planning of it. He controls the guest list and the menu. We will choose a day with nothing else happening and a time that corresponds with his best on-times of the day. It will be short, no more than 2 hours so that he doesn’t exhaust himself. He helps plan any activities and can choose to participate or not depending on how he feels on the day. It is vital that I look at preparations for the event and make sure that I am not overloading either of us. Allowing plenty of time to prepare for the event can alleviate stress on the day and ensure that we are both at our best when the guests arrive.

Our guest list will include family and friends who understand his diagnosis. We’ve decided that a Sunday afternoon works best for us and are thinking we should host an open house so people can come and go as they please. Snacks will be finger food, no utensils required, and everything will be very casual. I am enlisting helpers, my sister, our children and grandchildren to make sure the day goes smoothly and we can both enjoy this time to celebrate 80 well-lived years.