I have been engaging in some self-care activities this week, a medical appointment and a haircut. Perhaps these don’t sound like true self-care since they aren’t things I do for pleasure as much as they are, quite simply, maintenance issues. However, making my basic needs a personal priority reminds me that I matter and makes me stronger.

One thing I noticed is that I am so used to having my husband with me all the time, I stressed about having to go to the doctor alone. And when I went to the hairdresser, I rushed back home with a wet head instead of sitting under the dryer. Has this role of CarePartner lead to me becoming co-dependent? Do I need him for support as much or more than he needs me? The reality is that I have incorporated the role of CarePartner into my life so much that I am not sure who I am when I am away from it.

Walking out the door and leaving the worries behind sounds good. Thankfully, I do still have some volunteer time away from home yet even then I keep my phone handy in case my husband needs to reach me. Recognizing the connection that has grown here, both healthy and unhealthy, will allow me to better understand how to take good care of myself and protect my individuality. I am capable and can still act independently of my husband. Exercising that skillset by prioritizing my needs will not only make me stronger and healthier, it will also allow me to be a better partner for him.