If I look for my husband’s strengths rather than his deficits, my outlook shifts. I like to think of it as his four “D”s- Dedication, Determination, Discipline and Drive. His dedication and love for family and friends, his determination to live each day to the fullest, his discipline to do what needs to be done regardless of how he feels in the moment and the drive to fight whatever new adversity PD brings. One great example is how he gets up every day and exercises. I often hear him say “not looking forward to this class today”, yet he does it anyway because he knows it’s the only thing proven to slow the progression of his disease.

Carrying this same philosophy to my role of CarePartner, I find that I am doing more things right than I realize. I exercise with him so that I can be strong enough to help him should the time come when he is incapacitated. I provide him with healthy meals and encourage him to stay hydrated. We talk about current events and discuss books we have both read. I play games with him to support his mental abilities. I arrange social activities to expand our world. I take care of myself in these same ways, eating healthy foods and staying active both physically and mentally.

I try not to look at what might have been because that is a road to nowhere. Working from a strengths-based philosophy enables me to see the positive in each and every day. I am fitter than ever before thanks to our exercise programs, including boxing which I love and never would have tried otherwise. I have new friends and community connections that I never imagined. Yes, PD is progressive, and yes, my work load is increasing daily, but I have the skills I need and will develop new ones as needs arise. We can do this; I can do this as long as we stay focused on our strengths and don’t let our weaknesses win out.