If I was a paid caregiver, I would have scheduled breaks and I would get in trouble for not taking them. As an unpaid CarePartner, I only take breaks when things really get crazy and I am usually already in trouble either mentally or physically. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, especially when I found myself craving a cigarette. I don’t smoke but was thinking that if I started it would give me an excuse to go outside by myself for a few minutes every 2-3 hours. That’s when I realized that I don’t need an excuse, I just need a boundary and a schedule.

I am not sure that it is all about being a CarePartner, I think it may also have to do with being retired and together 24 hours a day. At any rate, I need some private times somewhere in my day. I need to be able to say to my husband “I’m going outside to take a break”, and then let go of everything for a few minutes. Or, during bad weather, I need an alternate location in our home that becomes my break room. And I need to remember that breaks are not times to do chores, they are times when I can sit down with an uninterrupted cup of coffee or a glass of tea and shut out everything else.

As far as scheduling breaks, it may not be possible but I think I’ll try. I need to take a break in the morning and one in the afternoon. My morning break can be right after breakfast, I love sitting on our patio with my coffee and listening to the birds. We take a break together mid-afternoon. Perhaps I can find a few minutes of quiet time in the early evening while he is watching the evening news and before I start preparing dinner. The key is that I need to approach it with the right mindset and actually do it. Letting go may take some practice but, with time, I know I will be able to get those much-needed breaks and still be here for my husband when he needs me.