It is summer and I wanted some fresh berries to eat. We visited a local fruit stand, but they were all out, so my husband suggested we go to the local farmer’s market. I have been avoiding this because it involves a lot of walking, there are crowds, it is noisy and can be very stressful. I was sure it would be too much for him to handle but, in reality, I think I was more concerned I wouldn’t be able to handle it. The “what ifs” took over in my mind, especially “what if he falls?”, and made me afraid to even try. I didn’t say anything to him, there have been enough conversations with me telling him what I don’t think he can safely do.

Sunday morning arrived and I asked if he was still interested in going to the market. He said yes, so I set aside my concerns and we headed out. He took his walking stick along as an aid, the first time he had used it in a public setting. We found parking less than a block from the market, walked the entire length of stalls, bought our berries and made it back to the car without any problems. We had lunch at a new restaurant on the way home and then my husband took a nap. It was a good outing with a positive outcome and none of the “what ifs” I had stressed about ahead of time happened. All my worry turned out to be nothing but a waste of energy!

My husband knows his body better than I do. Thankfully his cognitive skills are still intact and he has a pretty good awareness of what he is capable of doing, or at least trying to do, safely. He knows whether he is having a bad or a good day and will tell me. I need to listen to him when he says he wants to do things and, within reason, let him try. I am always there ready with support or supervision. He would have missed out on a chance to try out his walking stick and we would have missed out on some terrific berries if I had overruled his choice. I’ll always worry, can’t help that, but I am going to try to listen a little better too.