I recently came across an article about possessiveness, a characteristic I had not heard of nor associated with myself, however, after reading the article it makes me wonder. The piece came to my email as part of a WebMD daily newsletter and this one really struck a note. I know we have become somewhat co-dependent on each other as his illness has progressed, but there is also a possessive quality about our relationship, something I hadn’t thought of before.

In the article they describe possessiveness as “fundamentally a fear of loss” and go on to say that “Possessive people worry that their partners will leave them.” My worry isn’t that my husband will actually physically leave me, my worry is that I am losing the man I married gradually and that one day I will wake up and he will be entirely gone. And yes, it makes me angry and sad that I can’t do anything about it. They talk about the lack of trust in the relationship that can cause feelings of insecurity, but it’s not trust I am losing, it’s the man himself.

The authors offer four things to help me deal with my feelings of possessiveness, interesting suggestions that might help in my role as CarePartner. They suggest that I avoid snooping, talk with my husband about my feelings, maintain other friendships and find a therapist. Snooping is not a concern as I can easily see changes in my husband and our relationship thanks to his Parkinson’s Diagnosis. Otherwise, I agree with their thoughts. I do need to have a network of friends, I do need to talk with him about what I see happening until we can’t talk anymore, and I do need to have the number of a good therapist just in case.

To see the article in its entirety click here-Possessiveness: 4 Signs to Look For (webmd.com).