I find that my days are often defined by the role I perform as I work to provide care for my husband thanks to his diagnosis of Parkinson’s Disease. There seems to be three distinct assignments based on what might be happening in our lives or his level of need. I can be a caregiver, that person who provides personal support in his activities of daily living. I can be a caretaker, making sure his meals are on time, cleaning and caring for our house. Or, I can be a CarePartner, sharing his journey with Parkinson’s but also honoring that we were a loving couple long before PD made an appearance in our lives.                                                                                

Why would I evaluate my tasks and separate them into categories? Because it gives me a chance to think about how I spend my time and where I might need to make changes. If my days are unbalanced so I am spending too much time on caretaking or caregiving then maybe it’s time to step back and refocus because I am not truly able to enjoy our partnership. For example, when most of my time is spent doing chores that could be done by someone else, it might be time to look for alternatives. The role I am filling changes my motivation and mindset as I move through my day and could impact how I interact with my husband. He deserves to be treated with love and respect regardless of where my head is at.

Do I have a choice? If so, I think I’ll be the loving CarePartner so we can have some fun together. There will be chores at some point so I may have to switch to caretaker for a while and there will be times when he needs some help throughout the day so I need to keep caregiver close. For the most part, though, I really want to be the loving partner I signed up to be when we made vows to each other two decades ago, I just hope that PD agrees with me today.