I wish I had remembered to do this yesterday. My husband was always the one who cared for the lawns. I have taken over that duty out of necessity and a big piece of that care is setting sprinklers. I think he feels guilty watching me work so he tries to help. I have a system that works for me that is different from whatever he was doing before. Last night when I went out to get started and he offered to help, I knew that I should say “no thanks”, but I really hate to discourage him from doing what he can. Needless to say, it didn’t take long before I was grumping at him because “I have a system and you’re messing it up!” followed by “Just go back inside and leave me alone to do this!”

Wow, if only I had taken a breath and a moment to think before letting those words fly out of my mouth. I totally get why he wants to help and appreciate it most of the time; last night I was late getting started and just wanted to get it done. I didn’t consider that he would approach the process differently and that it might cause conflict. I also forgot that my husband is more important than the lawns, I need to care for him first and everything else comes after.

As soon as I finished setting things up I came inside and apologized, but once those harsh words are out they stay for a while. His feelings were hurt and I felt like a heel. We will get past this, but I know I need to try harder to make sure that it doesn’t happen again. In the future I must learn to be more patient, more understanding and never grump at him over something so insignificant. Instead, I’ll grump at his diagnosis of Parkinson’s that puts us in these difficult situations.