When my husband needs something, I am right on top of it whether it means a trip to the pharmacy or a call to a member of his medical team. I know my duty to him and take care of it in a timely manner. I don’t stop searching until a resolution is found, whatever the issue may be. If only I could be as proactive when it comes to caring for myself. Instead, my tendency is to ignore or stuff things away with the hope that they will eventually solve themselves. What happens all too often is that rather than fix themselves the issues grow bigger and more complicated to resolve.

There are times when simply talking about a need with others, with no clear intention on my part, can help me find clarity and solutions. I don’t ask for help; I simply mention that I am having a problem and the discussion often leads me in a new direction. Verbalizing a problem doesn’t make it go away, but it does help me better understand where it comes from and often provides insight on different ways to approach it. Defining the issue and potential resolutions out loud makes it all real and suddenly it becomes something I can tackle.

I am looking for a counselor for myself. I put it out there to my support group and they came back with several thoughts and even a couple of names. Everyone was understanding about the challenges we face, and several shared their own stories of therapy. One friend mentioned a book she is reading that is helping her on her journey. I am looking into it as a stopgap until I can find a human to speak with. It is becoming a struggle to find the help I need, but I won’t give up. I am prioritizing myself this time and won’t stop until I get resolution.

The book I refer to is entitled “Women Rowing North, Navigating Life’s Currents and Flourishing as We Age” and was written by Mary Pipher, a Clinical Psychologist. I am reading it because I want to flourish, don’t you?