My husband’s speech has been impacted by his disease so when we’re out in public he shuts down, looking to me to interact with salespeople, waitstaff, anyone we encounter. When he is forced to speak, he looks to me to translate his words. I become his buffer to the outside world. I want him to be comfortable, so I step in and take over whatever conversation or transaction we are in. But is it really in our best interest? We both know he can still communicate, he does it all the time at home. Wouldn’t it be better if, instead of my stepping in, he actually tried more and gave people the opportunity to respond to him? He’s neither deaf nor mute, he has Parkinson’s Disease. Perhaps we need to give other people more chances to see what that actually looks like.

This is especially important when it is with friends and family. Even his own children are now turning to me more than him. They may still text him on occasion but when we are together, I get to do all the talking while their dad sits and watches. I have spoken with him about this and tried to put him in situations where he had to participate, but it doesn’t always work. I worry that they are losing their personal connection.

We are meeting with friends, people from outside our PD network, for dinner tonight. Some of these people have known us for years and are familiar with my husband’s diagnosis, some will be new. It will once again fall to me to draw him into conversations or to work on getting him involved in the activities. There have been times when I spend so much time trying to make sure he is engaged; I miss out on things myself. This evening, however, it might be time to try stepping back a bit. I think I’ll leave the buffer at home and see what happens.