Self-care is one of the most challenging components of being a CarePartner. I often find myself getting so wrapped up in caring for my husband that I lose track of my own needs. Things happen out of convenience rather than choice. My personal needs end up at the bottom of a very long list and never seem to work their way up. I stopped to take a look at some of the things I was doing and wondered is this really the best I can do? Check out the following list of questions I asked myself and see what you think.

• When I get my haircut at the same place and the same time as my husband because it’s convenient, is that really self-care?
• If most of the new clothes in my closet aren’t things I purchased from a store, but are t-shirts from annual fundraisers for the local Parkinson’s organization, is that really self-care?
• Dining out at specific restaurants simply because they are easily accessible, have comfortable seating and serve foods I know my husband can manage, is that really self-care?
• Choosing not to do things I enjoy because he can’t go with me, is that really self-care?

There are other things that I could add to this list, but should I? I would argue that all of these things are indeed self-care or at the very least self-preservation. Parkinson’s Disease has brought change to both of our lives and with that change comes compromise. My task will be figuring out how to balance that compromise so that we both can get what we want. Good self-care for me may mean that I am conscious of what I am doing, aware when I am putting my needs at the bottom of the list. Then I can intentionally shuffle that list occasionally so we are both getting our needs met. I think I’ll start by finding my own hairdresser.