I wrote recently about a fall I took and how my husband, in his desire to help, wound up falling on top of me. Neither of us sustained severe injuries, thank goodness, but it reminded me that we really need to talk about what to do if I have an accident or if I am sick. He needs to know what to do in the moment as well as what to do longer term to care for himself. I could have easily broken my hip when I fell, what should he have done differently in that situation?

The first conversation we had, after the fall and once we were in a safe location, was that he really should have let me be. If I had been seriously injured it would have taken a professional to get me out of the hole. Otherwise, I needed to have the opportunity to assess the damages and then act for myself. I know how difficult it would be for him to just stand and watch my struggles because I had to learn to leave him alone when he falls. His not acting until I knew the extent of the damages would have been the best action he could take.

Beyond that, I need to make sure that he is aware of my back-up plan for when things go wrong. We need to discuss who he might call in the event something happens to me. He needs to know that I have several meals in the freezer in case I am not able to cook for a few days. I need to keep our monthly wall calendar up to date so if someone comes in to help, they can see our appointment schedule. I need to post information about where to find his medical information and outlining his daily needs somewhere accessible so whoever comes into help knows what is expected. We need to keep this information updated and revisit it regularly so we are ready when the unexpected occurs because, after all, I might have broken my hip in that fall.