Parkinson’s Disease is so different for each person who has the diagnosis and that often means that we, as their CarePartners, will be asked to face unique challenges. It used to surprise me when something new popped up, but over the years I have developed a strategy that helps me deal with those unexpected events. It always starts with me stepping back to take a breath and see what is really happening. Then, I utilize a three-part strategy to look for an answer that works for us.

The first thing I do is define and acknowledge the challenge. Who owns this challenge, is it mine or my husband’s? In other words, should I step back at this point and leave him be, or step up and try to find a resolution? If it’s mine I move on to the next piece, seeking a reasonable solution. I may discuss the issue with my husband, maybe not, it really depends on the situation and whether I feel his input would be necessary. There will be trial and error as I strive to find answers that we can both live with, and that’s okay. Once I settle on a solution, the final act is to implement it and move on. I need to make peace with whatever decision I make because there will be another challenge tomorrow and this one needs to be done.

It’s not always easy for me to stop and think clearly when things are going haywire. I am a fixer; I like to jump right in and take care of things immediately when they happen. I have learned that this can make the situation worse. Taking the time to lay out a strategy, and remembering to use it has made facing the daily challenges much better. I wouldn’t expect my strategy to work for everyone because, as I mentioned before, every CarePartner faces unique difficulties based on what their Person with Parkinson’s faces. I would, however, suggest that everyone needs to consider creating their own strategy because acting with intention is always better than reacting with panic when things go wrong.