I don’t always put my needs first, as a matter of fact I seldom do. I know the sayings- “caring from me is caring for him”; “I can’t be here for him if I’m not here for me”; “I need to put on my own mask first” (from every flight I have ever been on), and I am working on it. What are the obstacles to self-care for me? Initially I believed I didn’t have the time or couldn’t leave him alone. On some level I think I didn’t really believe I deserved it. After all, with all the appointments we already had, wouldn’t this just add more to my load rather than lighten it? I was so wrong.

I started out small, volunteering a few hours weekly at a local museum. It got me out of the house and gave us both a break from each other. My husband was fine at home alone and I was having new and different experiences. Recently, I added a yoga class to the mix. It is in-person and takes me out of the house for about 2 hours once a week. I make sure that my husband is set, he does a seated exercise class on his own while I am gone. We have been doing this for about a month and it is working out well for both of us.

The key to good self-care was actually committing to it and accepting that it is okay. I am deserving of taking time for myself. I also feel that doing something just for me takes some of the power out of his disease. PD can control our lives, activities outside PD push back against that control. I am setting patterns, expectations that I will continue to take care of me even as his disease progresses. When he is not able to be at home alone, we’ll look for help. Life can go on for both of us regardless of his diagnosis.