It’s a delicate balance and balance is one of my husband’s challenges. Pun fully intended! He has always been in control of his life and now this disease is forcing him to give up some of that and let someone else, namely me, make the decisions. It’s a role that I find I take on too easily. I freely admit that I like being in charge because then I know what is expected and have some control over outcomes. Unfortunately, where Parkinson’s Disease is involved, neither of us can ever have complete control. 

Figuring out what shared control means can change with the day. If my husband is having a good day, I can step back and let him be. He is perfectly capable of handling most things and will ask if he feels he needs help. Taking over when he doesn’t need it is disrespectful to him and a waste of my time and energy. However, if he is fatigued or stressed, then I need to be ready to step in. My challenge is being able to detect what is happening with him in time before it becomes a crisis.

I was just reminded of how this shared responsibility can work. His phone rang and, before I could get there, he answered it and was talking with his doctor’s office. I resisted the temptation to interrupt and take over the conversation. They confirmed his appointment for tomorrow and, since it is a video appointment, he asked the right questions so we know what to do. I listened in on his conversation so we both have the information and are prepared for tomorrow. Sharing control isn’t always easy but it is best for both of us at this point in our journey.