I am writing this at the tail end of the holiday season, a time when I should be looking back at wonderful memories. Instead, I find I am feeling some disappointment and regret over things that didn’t happen rather than celebrating what did. I am stuck in the “what we used to do” syndrome and can’t truly appreciate the wonderful things we do now. Some of it can be attributed to my husband’s diagnosis, more of it to the simple passage of time. When my unrealistic expectations don’t match reality, I find myself left with regrets and disappointment.

How does all of this relate to my life as a CarePartner? It is important that I let go of negative feelings like disappointment in order to be fully here for my husband. But, it is also important for me personally outside the world of PD. Granted there are days when things are not as good as I might hope, but being disappointed is not helping anyone. I need to remember that everyone has struggles. There is value in accepting and appreciating each day for whatever it brings. When I want something specific to happen, I need to be open with those around me. I need to let them know what I expect so they can help me achieve it.

If I analyze my expectations and let go of those that are not useful, like those I was holding around the holidays, then I can start to enjoy what each day has to offer. Using the perspective of what is good about what we are doing right now versus what else we could be doing, will help me connect with my own sense of peace. Just as our lives change, our celebrations will change. It is inevitable and it is okay as long as I am able to understand, ask for what I need and be open to adapting along the way.