I make mistakes all the time. Thankfully, I have my husband here to remind me of the critical ones like when I forget to feed the cat. He is a good back-up and usually doesn’t rub it in. The ones that really bother me are the ones I make in caring for him. It’s the times when I am late with his meals and screw up his pill schedule or when I try to help too much or am not there when he really does need me. It’s those times when I get grumpy with him but shouldn’t because he is doing the best he can. I mess up at least once every day and stewing over these things could easily change my demeanor which would only make things worse.

Instead of stewing, I have decided to try something new, forgiving myself. When I make a mistake, I will first acknowledge it and apologize to my husband. Then, I will think of all the times I was in similar situations and handled things well. I will remember that for every failure there have been multiple successes. I will take a moment to reset my spirit and then, let it go.

Our minds are hard-wired to remember mistakes so that we don’t make them again. We are supposed to learn from them, not carry guilt forever because they happened. I wake up at night and find myself ruminating over things that happened years ago, things I thought I had gotten beyond. With this new mindset of self-compassion, I hope that I will not be waking up 10 years from now remembering that I wasn’t a good enough CarePartner today. Instead I hope that my memories are filled with the positive things I did on this journey and the fact that I always tried my hardest to do what was right.