I had a doctor’s appointment yesterday followed by a couple of hours volunteering at the museum. My husband is able to stay alone safely, yet still I was concerned about leaving him alone for most of the day. I made sure that he had something for lunch and was able to stop by the house between my appointment and my volunteer hours, however it was still stressful. I had to remind myself that it was all okay and that it is vital that I prioritize self-care ahead of caring for him so that I can continue being an effective CarePartner. It doesn’t make it any easier.

I have been having problems with my left shoulder for a while, the specialist I saw yesterday confirmed that I have post injection deltoid myositis. That’s a lot of words to say that I had a reaction to a shot and now the muscle in my arm doesn’t work. There is no treatment other than to keep using the arm, things should get better over time. This is problematic since I often need both arms when helping my husband. I am thankful to know what the problem is and I have an excuse to exercise with my husband as I am treating my own problems while working on his. My self-care and his care can work in harmony for once.

It has taken me almost a year to have the issue with my shoulder addressed. Part of that was due to delays in scheduling appointments, but most of it was my hesitance to admit that something was wrong and that it was important enough to deal with. I tend to stuff my problems behind the belief that if I ignore them they will go away. In this case, it wouldn’t have made any difference had I gone sooner for treatment but that is not always going to be the case. If I am not taking good care of me, I cannot take good care of my husband. I know it, I just need to remember to practice it.