When my husband was struggling with getting in and out of our car, which was a sedan, we traded it for an SUV. When my husband was having a tough time getting off the old couch, we bought a newer one that sets up higher. When we needed a new bed, we bought firm mattresses that would make it easier for him to roll over and sit up. When he chokes on his food, I cut things up smaller. When he falls, I rearrange the furniture to make our home less dangerous. I am doing everything I can to make his journey with PD less challenging, but does it really help?

I sometimes wonder if I am just making work for myself. I can’t predict what is going to happen next with my husband and yet I spend my days trying to cushion his world for him. Some of the things I have done for him have helped, some not so much. Some even make my life harder, that new couch we bought is really uncomfortable. At what point do I need to say I’ve done all that I can? His disease is going to progress and there is no way I can possibly stay ahead of it.

Just as I have had to accept that my husband has this debilitating illness, I need to accept that I can’t be the remedy. I can work myself into a frazzle trying but, until there is a medical breakthrough, PD is ultimately going to win the battle. Does that mean I give up trying? No way, it just means I use some common sense in my efforts to help. Before making those big changes, I need to step back and look at the impact it will have on both of us. I need to talk with my husband to make sure that what I am doing makes sense for him and isn’t just something I think he needs. Finally, I need to accept that I can’t be his protector because life just doesn’t work that way. I can be his partner and his lover and that will have to be where I call enough.