I have been thinking a lot about the progression of my husband’s symptoms lately and I really like to downplay the seriousness of his disease. I mean just because he chokes on his water once or twice a day doesn’t mean he has swallowing issues. His feet do freeze in the mornings, and he struggles with his balance, especially when he’s tired. Yes, he has fallen 3 or 4 times in the past 6 months, but he didn’t break anything so it’s really nothing to worry about. After all, he assures me that he’s doing okay and I can trust him to be honest about what’s going on, right?

Actually I need to step back and look at the situation from an objective standpoint. He is always going to have a positive perspective on his condition because it is necessary. I think that his focus on fighting this disease means he has to minimize the challenges or they could become overwhelming. He is not going to let me in on everything that goes wrong, instead he is going to keep on moving and pretend it is okay. I can join him in that place of denial for a while but at some point someone has to do a reality check and I think that someone is me.

We are at that point right now as we go through annual and semi-annual checkups and assessments. Life is changing, while some of his symptoms are holding steady, others have progressed. I want to support him in his battle with Parkinson’s Disease, but I can’t care for him properly unless I have an eye on what is actually happening. I need to make sure I am grounded in reality so that he can ride the denial wave if that is what it takes for him to live fully with his diagnosis.