Sometimes it’s a safety issue for my husband, sometimes it’s a safety issue for me or simply something that I just don’t want to do. Whatever the reason I do, on occasion, find myself telling him no. If it’s appropriate, I talk through my reasoning with him to help him understand the why but there are times when it is just a flat no, I’m not doing that with you or for you.

It doesn’t happen very often and I am working on not feeling guilty when it does. I try to help him figure out if there might be an alternative option so he can still have his needs fulfilled. An example of one time when I have started to say no is with his exercise regime. I love working out with him but can’t join him for an hour 6 days a week, I just don’t have the time. The compromise we are working on is that I will join him for 3 of the sessions, be close by for 2 more that are seated, and have someone else take him to the gym for his final workout of the week. He can be safe and I can get other chores done while he is occupied.

I missed an opportunity this past weekend when I should have said no and didn’t and it almost ended up badly. My husband doesn’t always recognize or acknowledge the hazards in some activities. If I think it is a potential problem, I need to step up and say no. It may make him mad in the moment, but so be it. I would much rather have him upset with me for saying no than have to make another trip to urgent care for a fall. He’ll get over the anger, he may not recover from the injury. I have the right to say no, I’ll use it when I need to so we can both be safe.