It just happens. In our case, it came on rather slowly and over a number of years as PD slowed the processes in my husband’s brain. He is still able to think, but acting on those thoughts takes additional effort and is often short-circuited before completion. Autonomic functions are failing which means that he has to put more energy into doing normal bodily functions than he should. As things progress further, it becomes impossible for him to make a choice from multiple options because it takes all of his focus simply to function. This is when he turns to me.

Because of what is happening to my husband, I find that I am faced with making decisions I never expected. The sheer volume of daily decisions can be overwhelming let alone the bigger once in a lifetime things. Should he be driving? Should we sell our home or renovate to make things easier? Should we be considering in-home care to help us both? There are days when simply trying to decide what we should have for dinner is just too much, but somehow I figure it out and we always get fed.

I still want my husband’s input on things that matter. I try to have open conversations ahead of time so when tough decisions arise, I know what he would say. If there are smaller decisions we can do together, I break them down and only give 2 or 3 options at a time. This makes the process easier for both of us. By getting his help with decisions whenever I can, when the time comes that I have to make them without him, he understands and it’s okay.

For more on decision making and PD, check out Mental Wellness: Addressing Thinking Changes in Parkinson’s | Parkinson’s Foundation.