(This is a copy of our family Christmas letter this year, please feel free to ignore it if it doesn’t apply, or use it to share information with your loved ones during the holiday season.)

Grandpa and I have been hosting the holiday celebrations for decades and you all know what to expect. Since he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease and we see his PD symptoms progressing, that may not always hold true. For example, you may not understand that he can still participate in a conversation if you slow it down and give him time to respond. You probably have noticed that PD makes him unsteady but may not know that means he occasionally falls. Should he fall, you need to know to leave him be and let him get up on his own. It might be important for you to know that he fatigues easily so if he drops off, he’s not being rude, he just can’t help himself. It’s okay for you to ask him if he wants your help, please don’t feel bad if he says “no”.

We both still value the time we get to spend with you all at the holidays, I just need to be mindful of not trying to overdo. When I get too caught up in hosting, I can lose sight of the things I need to do for Grandpa which can cause problems. Some of our long held traditions may need to go away so that we can build new ones that work better for our current situation, I know you’ll understand.

I have revisited our holiday plans in an effort to simplify them. We are definitely going with fewer people, only as many as can fit at our table at any given time. Smaller groups are easier to handle and give us both the chance to engage more fully. This may mean we see different parts of the family at different times or some maybe not in person over the holidays. We can always connect in other ways. And, there will be time reserved just for the two of us before, during and after the holiday rush so we can both recuperate from all the fun we’re having. Please don’t feel bad if we decline invitations or leave early from parties, it’s his Parkinson’s Disease telling us it’s time to go.

I think back to the holidays we have shared with warm memories and hope to create many more together. They may be simpler, they may not be on the actual day, but they will be filled with love. My gift to you this year, remember that what is under the tree isn’t what matters, it’s the love shared by those gathered around it.