I recently started seeing an acupuncturist. Our first visit was really more about him getting to know me, checking my medical history and figuring out my priorities as he tried to devise the best approach. I went to him because of a problem with my shoulder but wound up talking about so much more. When he learned I was providing care full time for my husband he wanted to know how I am taking care of my mental health. When we finally got to my shoulder issues, he asked why I wanted to address it and my response was “I am the only fully functioning adult in the house, I can’t afford to be broken.” The words surprised even me but was a true and honest assessment of my reality as a CarePartner for my husband.

I mentioned recently that I sometimes put on a mask of normalcy to escape Parkinson’s for a while. What hit me at that appointment was how important it is to take off the mask when working with my own providers. I can’t expect them to give complete care unless they have the complete picture. My PCP needs to know what is going on with my therapist and my acupuncturist just as my OBGYN needs to know what is happening with my mental state. It is all connected and unless it is approached as holistically as possible I can end up with a piecemeal approach. I am the connection in the equation and must be honest and open with all of them so they can provide good care for me which allows me to care for my husband.

Just as my husband has his team of professionals, so do I. There aren’t as many on my team and I haven’t been diagnosed with a chronic illness, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t just as important. My job on this team is to keep them informed, to help them connect when necessary, and to listen to their advice. When I am feeling sick, because it will happen, I can reach out and let the appropriate provider know. It does me no good to hide from my own illnesses or injuries, I should be open and honest if I want to be able to continue the important work I do as a CarePartner. It’s time for me to stop thinking “I can’t afford to break” and instead remember “when I break, I need to seek help and get fixed.”