There are times when caring for my home and my husband becomes overwhelming. These are the times to remember that maybe I’m trying to do too much. When we first met, I was working for my husband and he taught me a very important concept. When he would assign a new task, he always checked in to make sure I had the time to take it on. We often had conversations about what tasks might have to go away in order for me to take on the new challenge. Unfortunately our current situation with Parkinson’s Disease doesn’t always allow that same flexibility.

When faced with a new or different task, the easiest solution usually involves letting go of something I do for myself. That frees up extra time and allows me to take on the new job whether for my husband or our house. Sometimes it’s really basic, if I’m doing this task today, what will I need to put off until tomorrow? Other times it’s looking at what I can stop doing altogether to free up the extra time I need. Choosing to delay or ignore self-care is not a great alternative though because those activities are what help control my stress levels and keep me calm. When I give them up or put them off, I am not giving either of us the best of care.

How do I decide which tasks to stop doing when those new challenges arise? How do I balance my care with his care and come out with a good plan? I am not sure that there is a good answer for this dilemma. I think that I am going to have to face each change as it comes and make the best decision based on where we are at the time. It may be that I have tasks I can let go, it may be that I can delay certain things, it may be that I find someone else to take some things on for me. And perhaps it is time to revisit those conversations we used to have so we can find direction and clarity as we face these new challenges together.